This week I have been reflecting a lot on Mothers. It has been hard for me. We don't all have relationships with our Mothers that we would like. Thus Mother's Day can be difficult.
This week I was going to the store to buy a Mother's Day present for my boyfriends mom. Also a birthday present as her birthday is next week as well. I was getting a card, smelling candles, and getting her present. Thinking about them and if she would like them. Thinking about the Dinner, my boyfriend and I will be cooking for her...
I got sad...very sad and heavy hearted. I wanted to cry. I wished my Mom was around. That I would be spending Mother's day with her, making her dinner and she would appreciate it. Yet that is not going to happen. It has never happened. I will call her and we will talk maybe ten minutes. The first call since I called her in February.
I was unconsciously trying to numb the pain, by "pretending". Using my boyfriends mom as a "fill-in". Yet, the pain can not be hidden, only grieved.
If this is your relationship with your Mother, let me encourage you to grieve. It is normal to be sad. Cry. Talk it out. Grieve. We need to grieve the things that are not, that we wish were. We need to grieve the losses we experience in relationships.
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